for those who are in or around sane

Wednesday, March 29

how to start off sunday-funday or, the hair of the dog is the only remedy

i couldn't have written it better myself:

My favorite recipe for the Bloody emerges from years of experimentation. Think Jonas Salk behind a bar. What I have come up with in my lab is:
Begin by turning on music best suited for the occasion of a near-death hangover. A dirge is always nice. Then in a cocktail shaker, place 4 ounces of tomato juice, 1/2 teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce, 1 dash of lemon juice, 2 drops of Tabasco, 1 dash of pepper (to taste), 1 dash of salt (to taste), 1 1/2 ounces of Grey Goose vodka, 1 dash of celery salt, and, for those who like a kick in the head, a smidgen of horseradish.
Shake and pour into a tall glass filled one-third with ice, garnish with green olives, and upsy-daisy. If that doesn't work, light three candles, take a cold shower, drink hot coffee, lie flat, and moan. And next time, try to behave.

Wednesday, March 22


i have a guilty conscience. when i do something bad, illegal, marginally decietful, i have what looks like to me as a black mark on my soul. a thumbprint inkpad smudge. if it's noticeable, i'll try to scrub it away with excuses and righteous indignation. ususally it only makes it worse. what i need is a Tide Stain Stick. i dont think they make those for the soul.

what i can do is pause, think and relax before i act. i am ultimately impatient, and i have at least a yearly lesson in it. one year i had to wait at the dmv for 2 hours only to be told they couldnt help me, and that i'd just have to wait 6 months for my license. one year i had to wait for my blonde friend b/c she wasnt as mature as the rest of my friends. this year, it appears i have to be patient with myself. to learn that i too need my own patience, and that it will benefit me to a huge degree in the end.

to all i have accused in the past: i am sorry. for most of my life, accusations were involuntary. i literally couldnt stop them from coming out of my mouth. some people dropped me, lost faith and trust in me b/c of this. b/c they felt i could control myself and that i was refusing to. perhaps they were right. i went to therapy and that was one (of many, many) issues i dealt with. i try hard, on a daily basis to remember what i learned.

and sometimes i fail.

i have friends who are amazing enough to roll with that punch. to look me in the eye and then walk away, swallowing pride... and with that turn, i understand what i've done. and it's my turn to swallow pride. to apologize. to rectify.

i have friends who come right back at me - who confront my wrongfulness head on. and in doing so, wear thier pride as a badge. and with that little shiny gleam of truth in thier eyes, i see what i've done and i swallow my pride. and i have to apologize. to rectify.

i am beginning to see an odd twist in this problem though. i havent fully focused on it. i need to stop, think and relax before i come up with a formed idea. but it has something to do with me always reacting poorly when someone else has "upset" me. "upset" covers a lot, which is why i need to think about this more. in doing so, i have transfered the hurt to them, nullifying or invalidating my own hurt.

i dont know what this exchange means, but it cant be good for either party. guess i've got a lot more patience to learn...

Tuesday, March 21

well... i liked it...

"This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

Monday, March 20

Happy St. Patty's!

... a few days late...

chicago is definitely a raucous place around the grand green holiday. while buying a shamrock shake at mcd's before a show last thursday (the 9th), i found out that they famous dying of the river would take place that saturday. on one side, i was very bummed b/c all of my MN visitors wouldnt be arriving for another week. but on the other side, i conspired with my good pal O to roam the streets of downtown together - taking pix of the river, parade and affiliates for his current website project.

so off we went on saturday the 11th, to view the freaktastic dying of the river. it was really eerie at first - like ghost fingers of slime oozing through the water (if you've ever watched the river on a normal day, i guess this isnt too odd -ha- but it's still eerie). The dye that they use starts out bright orange, but as it hits the water, it turns a neon green. This year there were a few brave and insane kyakers that invaded the river, just at the peak of the dying, and a police boat sped after them, splashing them with the green goodness. other boats were in it too - the usual tour boat was there, as were a few of these little guys.

i couldnt help but wonder what falling in would be like. i had a friend in high school who claimed to have gotten ripped at an older friend's apartment in chicago, and on the walk to the train station, decided it would be nice to jump in for a bit of a cool-off. but, high school male drunken hearsay is always taken with a grain of salt, no?

so here is the green river, in all of it's splendor. 4 hours later, after the parade (not much to report here - you've seen big crowds of people, you've seen parades... you're good to go) the river was still haunted with small tide pools of day-glo remnants.

O and i stopped at a great little place called Elephant and Castle where i stuffed myself silly with roast beef, carmelized onions, yorkshire pudding over mashed taters with tons of brown gravy. O had the corned beef & cabbage, which was also very tasty. 2 boddingtons later and we were happy with a little irish in us.

it's only fair to report what went on on the real st. patty's day. my visitors from MN included mule, little B, Lauren and Seth. drinks included green sangria and too many imports to remember. food ranged from popcorn to bacon to fluffy oven pancakes to fish & chips. fun was had. the only sad part was saying goodbye and stepping on the scale this morning...

Monday, March 13

i come seeking knowledge

I haven’t listened to new music (with a few exceptions) since like, early last summer. There are a lot of reasons for this. I will not go into them at this point as they are in the past and I feel I’ve done a good job of ushering myself into the present. Let’s just say I got exhausted and turned on audiobooks and npr and didn’t stop.

I love music so much, but sometimes you cant find the right choices. Nothing seems good or right or fits what you need. I cant believe I went for almost a year of that. I guess there’s a first for everything. But, I have to say, I’ve grown a lot more b/c of it. I have a higher patience for new music, an ear that aches to hear something good and different. A less critical tongue when I hear something new. Music has reached an almost “unobtainable” quality for me, and I’m grateful for what I do get to hear. It’s sort of like getting a second chance.

I looked at a great February music list and realized I had heard of almost none of the bands/songs listed. It pretty much shocked me. in the past I had kept well in the loop through friends, radio stations like kexp and the current and through various searches/curiosities of my own. When you’re out of the loop, it’s hard to know where to start over. Where do I begin? Do I have my friends with greater knowledge make me mixes? Do I search for more great lists on blogs and individually explore them? How much time/effort can I put into this?

At this point, it feels as if I’ll never be up to snuff again. I’m so far behind that I’ll always be at least one step back. It’s depressing in and of itself!! So, here’s my plea. If you have a song, an album, an artist that has appeared within the last year and you feel it might be a good place for me to look, please let me know about it. i will be grateful.