for those who are in or around sane

Tuesday, November 29

winter in minneapolis

winter in minneapolis
Originally uploaded by blackeyedsuzieq.
today i can actually feel the holiday spirit.

it did take me an hour to get to work. as always, the first snows of the year make us all craptastic drivers for at least a few hours. however, this morning, i was able to wake up early enough to enjoy a cup of coffee with the cat on my lap, while looking out the window at the light snowfall.

after the hellish ride into work, i took a look out my window and saw this scene. yet again, i felt the urge to belt out 'it's beginning to look a lot like christmas', bing style.

it feels good to be genuinely happy once in a while. despite the slush & traffic, the emotional incontinence of the world and work stress. i think i'll go out and buy a cinnamon candle & some holiday cards tonite...

Tuesday, November 22

power surge

technology is funny. its addictive, and makes you feel superior. it has the ability to create delusions of grandeur. i am fully guilty of this. i went to the Y the other day, and decided to watch the last episode of Lost while i elliptisized. so there i am, feeling totally good about my physical and technological prowess. i might even use the word "glow" to describe my aura.

i must say, nothing took me down a notch, either. i got nods of appreciation from the peeps surrounding me (peeps that have, in the past, given me a nod for a particular "smart" book i'll be carrying around; and peeps who never give me the time of day b/c i'm not at the y 24/7). this illusion of power continued as i showed my new toy to friends. admiring beams, drooling etc are all powerful assersions of my power.

and so i am addicted. when my phone (which has been acting up since, oh, april) turned off unexpectedly yesterday, i said "eff this!!" and promptly got myself a replacement today. it's a pretty little thing. i was sorely tempted to get either the sidekick rip-off or the video-recorder/camera/mp3 player phone. but i checked myself and only got the new LG pix phone. but i've never had a pix phone before. i thought about all the fun i could have with it. and when i take pix, i can put them on my ipod. and i can put them on my blog, thereby sharing them with the world.

the power continues. i've been figuring i need a new computer for a few years now. mine is the hp from '98 and in sore need of upgrades. however, if i got a brand new mac, i could once again rule the world. or at least have access to the world.

so now i must sit on my hands. be happy with what i have. enjoy when others can bask in my glory, even as the numbers dwindle b/c they all go out and buy thier own electronic goodness. no more toys for me! (for now....)

Wednesday, November 16


my new toy. i love my pretty little toy! thanks to my great patience and waiting skills, i was able to sink a sweet arse deal on the 5th generation iPod. yes, the one that has a huge screen and can play movies. 30GB. shiny white. i have joined the realms of new technology! bask in my greatness for, oh, 3 hours, until someone else buys one too. but i'll enjoy your basking in my limelight. yes. this i will.

Thursday, November 10

too much air

so i havent been posting cuz my brain's been running at a gazillion miles an hour lately. i cant focus on one thing for more than a bit at a time. consequently, my dreams have been long and involved. i've been sleeping for more than 8 hours a night and i'm still tired in the mornings. so, i decided to have today be a Me day.

this means i'm going stay at work till all my work is done, even if it means i dont leave till 8pm. afterwards, i shall make a pizza for supper and eat it all by myself in front of the tube, where i will be watching 6 feet under. afterwards, i shall zonk out on the couch, with the cat, until i come to (around 1am) where i will throw myself into bed. hopefully i will have no interruptions. hopefully it means i will get a gratuitous 10 hours of sleep. hopefully it will be cleansing.

i had a massage yesterday, and beforehand i took a survey to see how i was feeling. the categories were earth, air, water and fire. i was having an air day. i thought about it through the glorious hour and subsequent errands and supper, and figured that i have had more air days than normal lately. the past few months have been "up in the air" and ive been making ungrounded plans. i have also not been passionate about something for a long time - rather ambivilant to life actually. i'm not sure what makes a water day, which leads me assume that i've been lacking in water days as well.

can one have too much wind in one's sails? can you be too full of hot air? cold air? am i not breathing enough, and that's why i'm searching for more air? all good things to contemplate. i'm tempted to make an apointment with my therapist to discuss further, but i've been weened and warned. hopefully my Me night will allow me to ponder further.