what charlie said...

One of my immediate members deals with depression. For the most part, it has been life-long and triggered by unfortunate events happening to self or loved ones. I have recognized this in him for a very long time. But what I didn’t know was how to deal with it, and how to help him and myself.

What I’ve learned over the past few years is that you can really only help yourself. You can offer help to others. You can force help. You can be silent. Or use any other tactic, but nothing is guaranteed unless the person wants to help him or herself.

The one thing this man does not want to hear is that his depression is hurting me in a very real way. That in turn, I struggle with depression and anxiety. This is because: 1. I worry about the people I love and, 2. his actions directly affect my life.

And the easy way to deal with this would be to just let go of him. To turn him out of my life. For me to start over and not look back.

But, after my own therapy and help, after the mire I swam through to get myself out of my own depression, I cannot do this. so, I am left with 2 contradicting feelings. One of peace and knowledge that this man is just one person: human and flawed, beautiful and loving; a worthwhile gift from God. The other… that if he doesn’t get help, or follow-through with help, I have the fear that I will surely be pummeled again.

The saddest part is that I know quite a few people who suffer from depression. That all of them are dealing or not dealing with it in their own ways. That there is no right answer. Every new case I hear of in my family or friend group hits me harder. Its hard to be a happy person when the people around you are so sad. One of the most tragically true quotes I’ve ever read is in the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Steven Chbosky: “We accept the love we think we deserve”.