compartmentalizing

i've been compartmentalizing lately. it's about crunch time for the move, and instead of worrying my nails to nubs and fretting about, i've created a compartment for my worry.

i see it as a huge gray, metal locker.

i have other compartments in my life too. the work compartment is most noteable, and probably the one that everyone recognizes. what happens at work stays at work. i happen to be blessed by not being a workaholic. this means i dont feel the need to talk about work at all outside of it's setting. the work box is a nice, simple, polished wooden box. it's got great hinges & no lock on it.

the shopping compartment is a dirty sock hidden under my bed. i dont like to think about how pretty i feel in new clothes or how much money i wont have for food if i buy new shoes, so i keep it hidden, dusty and silent.

but this gray, metal locker, it's got a big ol' combo lock on it (like back from high school) and it has air holes in the top. it's standing on it's own in a dark room. periodically i open it and stuff a few more things in it, then i slam it shut, and stalk out of the damp room and try to forget it exists. i guess it's a lot like your grandparent's scary basement when you were a kid. sometimes you had to throw laundry down there or, heaven forbid, clean down there, and it was always a slightly clammy, nerve-wracking experience. well, for those of us w/ unfinished basements it was.

consequently, when i go back upstairs to my happy, well-lit main floor of life, i just dont need to think about that dank locker. so i dont. and when phil, the mailman asks me "are you all packed yet?" i stare at him blankly, head cocked..... "ohhh, for the move?? heh, well, sorta. i have a few days set aside for finishing."

i dont see chicago, or the actual move as a gray, dank experience. in fact, i'm rather looking forward to the change of pace and the challenges i will find. but the lifting of goods, the hauling of cat, the lack of familiar good night hugs and b's 2 week departure all weigh heavily enough to create the current need for a gray metal locker.