i'm a nervous mother (and i know that cat does not equal kid)

my cat has recently taken to scaring me half to death. it's fully intentional on his part, and completely involuntary on mine. you see... we have a bit of an "unhealthy" attachment. when we lived alone, we did everything together. he sat in the kitchen with me while i cooked, sat on the toilet when i took showers, slept at the foot of my bed each night and watched hbo reruns with me on the couch.

because of this "nurturing time" in our lives, we know a lot about each other. he knows when i'm planning on going away for a weekend - even if i havent packed my bag yet. i know when he's pissed at me - even if he hasnt puked on my carpet yet. and he knows how to get my attention when he feels ignored.

this is exactly how we started the "scare mommy" game. when we moved into our new abode, we upgraded to a large porch/patio. this makes for excellent curiosity for cats! and we do have a total of 3 cats... we also upgraded to knowing our upstairs neighbors & their two chiuauas. what with our pleathora of people and puppies, poor romeo got lost in the excitement. i no longer was favoring his antics or supporting his "dominant male" lifestyle. so one day, he goes out onto the porch. i'm on the phone, gabbing away, paying no attention to him whatsoever until....


yes... kitty on the 4 inch ledge. outside the safety of the porch (which is 20 feet up). i see him dangling over the side, meowing (howling) at the dogs passing by. my thoughts as my stomach knotted up: dear lord, he's gonna jump! he's gonna break something! he's gonna run away! shitshitshit!

romeo's thoughts: bwahahahahaa! i'm the shit! oh yeah... me... the Shit. yes i am. meow!

h's thoughts on the matter when i told him about our little scare (spoken aloud): "you shoulda pushed him"...

maybe i shoulda... but i didnt... and now we have a little game. romeo goes out on the ledge. i panic. i coax him back off the ledge with promises of petting and loving and tuna. but now that the game has become routine, i think its less of a scare than it is a threat. a "gentle" reminder that romeo is the "dominant male cat" and needs his "edge" in the household. so... i turn a nervous eye away when he squeezes through the bars and dangles over to say hi to the passers-by.