for those who are in or around sane

Wednesday, February 14

happy valentine's day!!

some people view v-day as a marketing ploy, a greeting card exploitation of our pocket money & self-esteem. me? i enjoy the gratuitous amounts of free chocolate and the opportunity to wear my fun holiday-themed knee socks.

in celebration of this glorious chocolate-filled holiday, i shall now deliver to you, dear reader, the best valentine's day story i've heard in years: (the author has requested to remain anonymous).

A huge ghastly bouquet was just delivered to me, well delivered to the front desk, which meant I had to carry it up the stairs and past several offices. I couldn’t see where I was going so had to count paces back to my cube. The bouquet must have stood 4 feet tall with pink and white roses, ribbons, huge sprigs of baby’s breath and some other fanlike greenery. I struggled with the plastic tent shrouding this monstrous arrangement for a couple minutes and finally got it free. This whole time, my face is bright red and I’m thinking, “okay, well, this was really nice of him, even if it is a little over the top … Omigod omigod, how am I going to get this out of here???..”

I open up the card and it reads…

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mom! Love, Erin, Paul and Jim”

This thing was not for ME!!! They delivered someone else’s flowers. I had to carry the bush back down to the reception desk. The receptionist is calling the flower company, meanwhile I am going to die. Luckily only a half dozen or so people saw me dragging this horrifying Martha Stewart jungle around with me.

I have never been so mortified in my life. I hate Valentines Day. I want to go home immediately and hide but unfortunately [my boyfriend] is making me wait here while he calls the flower company to yell at them and bring over the correct bouquet. I really really hope that it is small and tasteful cause I don’t think I can go through this again.

I know deep down it’s funny, but I’m seriously close to tears right now.

4 Comments:

Blogger Speed Readers Anonymous said...

Ah, honey I am feeling bad you are close to tears

But on the other hand it's hilarious and I hope you see the humor tomorrow morning! I even read it to Scott and he thought it was funny too.

I hope your real bouquet was small and tasteful!!

9:33 PM

 
Blogger dr. gonzo said...

no really!! i swear - it's not me!!! it was my co-worker. she sent out an email w/ this story and so i had to share it. :o)

10:40 AM

 
Blogger rhett said...

by "free" chocolate, you mean the chocolate purhased for you by yor significant other? Yeah, that sounds like a great deal!

6:27 PM

 
Blogger HartyNews said...

My hubby got me a bracelet...ok that was good, but get this on the actual v-day he got me a some cute flowers..that was good and then a bottle of tanguray..I was like umm ok thanks..I guess I mean I could of gone to the grocery store and gotten that lol..I guess he thinks I need a drink with all the stress from kids, school, work etc etc...hope you are staying warm..I think I am going to move to a snowless state. :) Bu bye!

11:05 PM

 

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