happy valentine's day!!

some people view v-day as a marketing ploy, a greeting card exploitation of our pocket money & self-esteem. me? i enjoy the gratuitous amounts of free chocolate and the opportunity to wear my fun holiday-themed knee socks.

in celebration of this glorious chocolate-filled holiday, i shall now deliver to you, dear reader, the best valentine's day story i've heard in years: (the author has requested to remain anonymous).

A huge ghastly bouquet was just delivered to me, well delivered to the front desk, which meant I had to carry it up the stairs and past several offices. I couldn’t see where I was going so had to count paces back to my cube. The bouquet must have stood 4 feet tall with pink and white roses, ribbons, huge sprigs of baby’s breath and some other fanlike greenery. I struggled with the plastic tent shrouding this monstrous arrangement for a couple minutes and finally got it free. This whole time, my face is bright red and I’m thinking, “okay, well, this was really nice of him, even if it is a little over the top … Omigod omigod, how am I going to get this out of here???..”

I open up the card and it reads…

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Mom! Love, Erin, Paul and Jim”

This thing was not for ME!!! They delivered someone else’s flowers. I had to carry the bush back down to the reception desk. The receptionist is calling the flower company, meanwhile I am going to die. Luckily only a half dozen or so people saw me dragging this horrifying Martha Stewart jungle around with me.

I have never been so mortified in my life. I hate Valentines Day. I want to go home immediately and hide but unfortunately [my boyfriend] is making me wait here while he calls the flower company to yell at them and bring over the correct bouquet. I really really hope that it is small and tasteful cause I don’t think I can go through this again.

I know deep down it’s funny, but I’m seriously close to tears right now.